Lessons Learned

I have been a mommy to the cutest little lady on the planet for almost 16 months.  It’s been an incredibly rewarding adventure that I am so glad I embarked upon.  But, it has also been insanely exhausting, mind-numbingly routine, occasionally lonely, and beyond mentally taxing.  I think this goes without saying, but being a mom is hard.  I’ve learned so many valuable lessons this last year and a half.  It has been a journey into just how strong I am in some areas.  Let me just say, GO MOMS!!!   You are the true Superheros.

Sine, I am such a wise mom now, I wanted to share my learnings, thoughts, ramblings, etc.  Perhaps you are about to have a kid; this blog may come in handy.  Perhaps you have already been where I am; sit back and nod your head.  If you have an older kid, feel free to respond in the comments for what may lie in our future as she grows.

Here we go…

1. Newborns are ridiculously aware of when you are hungry, sleepy, or wanting to shower. If you try to eat, they will cry for their own food.  If you plan to nap when they nap, they will never go to sleep.  If you are yearning for a shower, they will never allow you time to do that, and as an added bonus, will vomit on you.
2. Every woman on earth has an opinion on how to raise your baby. The advice will fly from every direction like ninja daggers.  It is your job to dodge those daggers and think for yourself.  We’ve only been having babies for a zillion years now, so you have extremely good instincts embedded in your DNA.  Go with your gut, and follow your heart.  You, and only you, know what’s best for your baby.
3. Mom forums will beat you down and make you feel like a failure. Tread lightly there. Those women are super serious about following all WHO (world health organization) recommendations. These cyber moms think they know everything, but I imagine very little of them have the actual credentials to back up their mouths.
4. At 6-months-old, your child is so adorable and perfect. But, you will want him/her to be older and gain new skills that make it easier to care for themselves, and make them more interesting to you.  Just take a moment to live in the moment with that 6-month-old the way they are.  Because, you definitely aren’t getting that time back with them.  Stay present.
5. To piggy back on 5, step away from your phones and computers for a while. Give your kid your full attention for an extended period of time. This is how you build a bond, which is crucial for your kids development.  In the blink of an eye something fascinating will happen, like the first time they point, or a huge smile, and you don’t want to miss it.  The world can wait.  I promise it’s going to be there when you plug back in.
6. Having a baby will make you completely insane, in love, infuriated, and a million other emotions within mere moments of each other. I’ve never been on a crazier roller-coaster ride.  It takes a lot of mental strength to be a mom.  You better have your head right going in.   Some days are just bananas.
7. Moms are awesome. Dads are awesome.   However, the reason it takes 2 people to make a baby, is because it takes 2 people to raise a baby.  Don’t mate unless you have a partner that is down for the ride.  The first few months with the new baby can create a big fat wedge between you and your partner, or create a close-knit bond.  Communication is key.  Understanding is key.  Patience is key.  There are a lot of freaking keys to keep up with just to maintain sanity during this time.  Find a solid human to do it with.
8. It is ok to walk away for alone time. I learned that if I take at least 2 hours, once a week, to just be along and do something I want to do, I am a happier person.  I was 35 when I had her, so I had spent an incredible amount of time doing pretty much exactly what I wanted.  She was a life adjustment like no other, and it took me about a year to figure out I needed some time to myself, so I could feel like myself.   I no longer feel guilt for needing to be alone.  In fact, I feel light as a feather and giddy with bliss when I check out of mom mode and into freedom time.
9. Be ok to make mistakes. You’re going to mess up.  It’s inevitable.  Roll with the punches, learn from it, avoid the same mistake.  Your kid’s still going to love you if you dress them in designer threads or clearance bin clothes.  They will still adore you if you feed them oily chicken nuggets or organic lettuce leaves.  You will probably knock them over, smash their finger, forget their favorite toy, and be the cause of a meltdown at some point.  You’re never going to be 100% on point.  The mistakes teach us the way to go.
10. Play with them just a little longer, even though it is going to make you late for something.