You know what makes moms go crazy? No time to themselves! Being a full-time mom is such a blessing, and I am so grateful I no longer have to schlep from airport to airport and store to store, but dang it, I need some time alone! I guess I didn’t really consider the fact that I would no longer be doing anything that I used to do. In fact, I was delusional enough to assume I would be falling right back into my former life. That was silly of me.
My lunches are no longer leisurely and lovely. They are rushed thru, and scarffed down at record speed. There is no more free trade coffee from the new hip coffee shop that popped up. My coffee is now solely from a keurig, (when I even remember I made it). My driving time is consumed with praying to God my child doesn’t start crying. My nails and hair look horrendous, and I pretty much feel like an extension of my former self that is unattractively covered in baby puke. I’m tired 85% of the time, have issues focusing on other people’s banter, and I still am walking around with a good 10 extra pounds that are hanging on for dear life. I’m what I would call a hot mess. And I need a minute to breathe.
I want to applaud you mothers who stay at home, have perfect homes, make delicious meals, run a flawless schedule, and do it all while wearing your pretty pink lipstick and mascara’d eyes. I want to applaud the mother who is sitting in yoga pants with her hair in a crazy bun rocking her crying baby to sleep. I want to applaud the mom that has it mostly together, but still falters because such is life. To the moms of multiple children, the single moms, the single dads doing the job of mom, and the adoptive moms, you are champions! No matter what type of mom you are, you have the hardest job on the planet. There is no corporate/executive/medical/law-based job on earth that is as difficult as being a mom. You give up your nights, your mornings, your days, your sanity, your 401K, your weekly pay check, your vacation plans, your shopping excursions, your beauty regimens, your quiet time, your social life, and your very identity of who you have been up until motherhood. You are extraordinary.
If no one tells you they appreciate the work you put in, know that I do. If no one tells you “good job”, let me be the first to tell you. “Good Job, keep it up”!!!! And if you lay in bed at night, and a million thoughts of things you wanted to accomplish come rushing thru your head, know that there is always tomorrow. And you probably aren’t going to get the things done then either. Because your life is no longer yours. Your dreams are no longer yours. Your very existence is now solely committed to a tiny human that will grow into a needier human, a demanding human, and then finally an independent human. And only then can you take a breath and try to gather a few of the shattered pieces of your prior life. And by then, who knows, maybe you won’t even want that perfect existence that once was. Maybe by then, you will yurn for the madness of raising a child. Because the only thing I can think of that is more challenging than caring for them, is realizing the time has come that you have to let them go.